Say What? Sew what?

{May 2, 2011}   What I say vs. what the kids hear

I swear I say the same things day in and day out.  I’ve decided that they’re not hearing what I am actually saying.  I’m sure we can all relate.

Me: No running in the house!

Heard:  Run as fast as you can and make sure you either run into each other or the wall.

Me:  Keep it down, the baby is trying to sleep

Heard:  Fight as loud as you can and make sure you run through house while you do it.

Me:  Stay out of the baby’s face.

Heard:  Please get in face, talk as loud as you can and be very obnoxious until he screams at the top of his lungs.

Me:  Yes, you can give the baby a kiss, but on his forehead or the top of his head.  You all have colds.

Heard:  Please kiss him on the cheek and mouth so he can cough all night long and start wheezing in 2 days.

Me:  Please leave the baby’s toys alone.

Heard:  Play with them and stick them in your mouth.  He needs to catch your cold.

Me:  No you may not do *insert whatever they were going to do.*

Heard:  No you may not do *whatever,* but as soon as I turn my back go right ahead!!

Me:  Wash your hands after you go the bathroom.

Heard:  Wash your hands, flood the bathroom and leave the water running.

Me:  Dinner time!

Heard:  Come choke down my cooking, while complaining and making awful faces and noises.  It makes me feel lovely!

Me:  It’s time to clean your room.

Heard:  Take 5 minutes to pick up each and every toy.  And, by all means only pick one toy up at a time and play with it so we’re here all night waiting on you to clean your room.

Me:  Watch your attitude!

Heard:  Blah, blah, blah, blah…

Me:  Do not roll your eyes again.

Heard:  Please roll your eyes right now and tilt your head too.

Me:  If I have to tell you to watch your mouth one more time…

Heard:  Give me an even bigger attitude so I can be the bad guy and ground you on the only nice weekend out of the past 3 weeks.

Me:  I love you, Baby L.

Heard:  I love it when you claw my eyes out.

But I can whisper the words “treat time” outside and they are in the dining room dancing, ready for their dessert.  I know I don’t need their hearing checked.  I swear they just hear what they want to hear.

However, I do love when they answer back with “I love you too,” “thank you,” “dinner was delicious,” “You’re the best mom ever,” “this is the best day ever,” “Good night, mommy,” and the smiles when it does go right.

Sigh…as you can tell I’m having an attitude issue with my almost 9 year old, cleaning room issues with the littles and Little Dude is now coughing, sneezing and starting to wheeze.


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