Say What? Sew what?











{April 30, 2011}   PSA–Grammar Part One

Ugh, I am finding it harder and harder to read through my boards on one of my favorite website.  I am getting sick of blatant misspellings, grammatical errors and all the blessed text speak I keep seeing.  It makes my head and eyeballs hurt and my blood pressure seems to rise.  It also makes me wonder about the education of the youth of this country and our future.

wut, wat is spelled what

dat is that

Its is possessive, as in “the dog likes its food.”  It’s is a contraction for it is as in “It’s cold outside,” or “It is cold outside.”

UR is your or you’re or you are.  Your is also possessive, as in “are you going to drink your milk?”  You’re is a contraction for you are, as in “you’re (you are) pissing me off with all your (possessive) idiotic grammatic errors.”

That brings me to they’re, there, and their.  They’re is a contraction for they are; there is a place; and, their is possessive.  “They’re (they are) cleaning up their (possessive) mess over there (place).”

An apostrophe–this cute little symbol [ ‘ ]–is located right next to the enter key on the keyboard.  This lovely little thing when added with an “s” (i.e., ‘s) makes things possessive.  “The babys butt has a rash.” should be “The baby’s butt has a rash.”  This leads to me to words ending with “y,” to make these items plural (which means more than one), the “y” gets changed to “ies.”  “Our babys are so cute.”  should read “Our babies are so cute.”

Than and then…then is a time frame and than is semi-comparative to me (“I would rather go now than then”).

Farther and further:  Farther is physical and further is metaphorically speaking, i.e, “How much farther until we get to Grandma’s house?” vs. “To get further in life, it would behoove you to get an education.”  Just remember that farther has the word “far” in it, which implies distance.

Good is broken down as good, better, best, not good, gooder and goodest. (Shiver)

A general rule of thumb to use when attempting to use more and most, is the amount of syllables in the word.  Generally, if there is more than one syllable, use more and most.  Beautiful, more beautiful and most beautiful.  Fast, faster and fastest.  There are some exceptions to this rule, but off the top of my head, I can’t think of any.

“What is a syllable?” you ask.  A syllable is an uninterrupted sequence of speech of a word.  Dog is a one syllable word; water has two syllables (wa-ter); and education has four (ed-u-ca-tion).

Common contractions:

THE “NOT” CONTRACTION WORDS

Is not:  isn’t (There isn’t enough coffee in the world.)

Will not:  won’t (Jane won’t play nice.)

Do not:  don’t (Don’t use bad grammar.)

Does not:  doesn’t (Doesn’t the yard look lovely?)

Are not:  aren’t (The kids aren’t playing nicely.)

Was not:  Wasn’t (I wasn’t trying to be mean.)

Were not:  weren’t (The kids weren’t ready for school this morning.)

Has not: hasn’t (My sunflower hasn’t bloomed yet.)

Have not:  haven’t (My tomato plants haven’t sprouted yet either.)

Had not:  hadn’t  (If I hadn’t cooked dinner last night, the kids would’ve gone hungry.)

Did not:  didn’t (I didn’t want to cook dinner.)

Should not:  shouldn’t (You shouldn’t have ignored your elementary school teacher.)

Could not:  couldn’t (You couldn’t possibly understand my headache.)

Must not:  mustn’t (We mustn’t fight over this.)

Cannot:  can’t (I can’t fathom the future of our country at this point.)

THE “HAVE” CONTRACTIONS

Might have:  might’ve (You might’ve gotten the job if you used proper grammar on your resume.)

Should have:  should’ve (You should’ve paid attention.)

Could have:  could’ve (I could’ve let this go, but I am aggravated.)

Would have:  would’ve (I would’ve let this go, but I am tired of seeing this crap all over the internet by adults.)

Must have:  must’ve (You must’ve either fell asleep or been absent that day in school.)

THE “I” CONTRACTIONS

I will: I’ll (I’ll stop harping soon.)

I am:  I’m (I’m exhausted.)

I would:  I’d (I’d pay attention from now on.)

I have: I’ve (I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts.)

THE “YOU” CONTRACTIONS

You will: you’ll (You’ll go further in life if you educate yourself.)

You are:  you’re (You’re not playing nicely with your sister!)

You would: you’d (You’d love the new Potter movie.)

You have: you’ve (You’ve got to be insane.)

THE “HE” CONTRACTIONS

He will: he’ll (He’ll go to the store in the morning.)

He is:  he’s (He’s in love with the girl.)

He would: he’d (He’d love to go to prom with her.)

He has:  he’s (He’s got to get a haircut.)

THE “SHE” CONTRACTIONS

She will:  she’ll (She’ll like it if you hold the door for her.)

She is: she’s  (She’s still sleeping.)

She would:  she’d (She’d go to school if she’d wake up on time.)

She has: she’s (She’s got beautiful eyes.)

THE “THEY” CONTRACTIONS

They will:  they’ll (They’ll be going to the store soon.)

They are:  they’re (They’re a pain in my ass.)

They would:  they’d (They’d come over if you weren’t such a pain.)

They have:  they’ve (They’ve gotten tired of your ways.)

THE “WE” CONTRACTIONS

We will:  we’ll (We’ll stop by shortly.)

We are:  we’re (We’re going to eat first.)

We would:  we’d (We’d come by earlier, but the baby was ill.)

We have: we’ve (We’ve got to go to the doctors.)

THE “IT” CONTRACTIONS

It will:  it’ll (It’ll be beneficial to pay attention from now on.)

It is:  it’s (It’s a gorgeous day out today.)

It would:  it’d (It’d be nice to go to the park today.)

It has:  it’s (It’s been a long road to get to where we are today.)

Well, my rant is over for now.  I am sure I’ll be ranting again in the near future about other words and their misuses.

Have a beautiful Saturday,

Jenn

p.s. irregardless and conversate aren’t real words.  And if you’re sick, you’re not feeling well.  I’m not saying my typing is perfect, we all make mistakes or are typing too fast or are distracted by the umpteen fights, but for the love of all things holy please re-read what you type.

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